Thursday, January 05, 2006
Since everyone constantly sends me quizzes and slambook questionnaire's, I've had to come up with one of my own. Because your stuff never asks the questions I want answered and you guys send this shit to me all the time, that's why. So drop what you're doing right now, even if you're breast-feeding your newborn, and take this retarded little quiz like we used to back in 6th grade.
1. Who is your favorite one-armed drummer?
Hallie Eisenberg
2. When was the first time you shoplifted?
When I was 87, but I was just confused.
3. What did you take? Adult diapers.
4. Elvis Presley or Morrissey? KD Lang.
5. The Screamers or The Vandals?
How could you do this to me?
6. Link Wray or Lyle Lovett?
Link Wray, but only because of the Julia Roberts thing. So just kidding.
7. Do you even know who Link Wray is? Duh.
8. If a wildebeast was eating your leg, who would you
call? Henry Rollins.
9. If a space alien was beaming you away, who would
you call? Jello Biafra.
10. What is your favorite sexual position (that you
actually know how to do) ((don't lie))?
The Upside Down Triple Decker Sucker Punch.
11. What is your favorite sexual position (that you've
actually done) ((don't brag))? The Cockatiel.
12. If you had a monkey what would you name it?
Sylvester Steven Stallone Seagal.
13. If you had a turtle would you enter it in the
races? Yes, and it would win.
14. Would you bind, gag, and slap silly George W. Bush
for a million dollars? Yes.
15. Would you do it for cab fare? Double yes.
16. If you could re-animate only one of these three,
whom would you choose: A) Wanda Jackson, B) Wendy O.
Williams, C) Courtney Love? Wendy, so that she could
then re-animate the others.
17. If you could re-animate only one of these three,
whom would you choose: A) Joey Ramone, B) DeeDee
Ramone, C) Tommy Ramone?
You are a horrible person. I default to Joe Cole.
18. If your mother and Dickie Barrett were in a burning closet and you could save only one of them,
whom would you choose?
Dickie Barrett. That was an easy one for anyone who knows me.
19. Steve Jones or Ewan McGregor?
Steve Jones, but only because Ewan is happily married with children.
20. Who and what were you in your favorite past life?
A governor of Lesbos, Cleopatra, Ishtar, The Mona Lisa, and Mary Magdalene who was the wife of Jesus the Christ.
(Don't ever send this shit to me again, you crazy
bitch. I hate you. Call me.)
Hooray! That's the end of the quiz! Now you can print it out and use it for toilet paper! Thanks everyone for taking my quiz! It means sooooooooooooooo much to
me. Remember, don't bother sending this back because I don't really need or want to know the answers to any of these retarded or meaningless questions. (Except
the one about our friend Dubya.)
Now back to work, you slackers. Do something creative and productive for the betterment of the human race. Or just kill yourself if you can't even manage that.
Kisses,
Brigid
The Shadow * 9:01 PM
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