Bunky Punk is a lame fuck
Even though I'm anime he wishes he were here with me. He wishes. He's so lame he thinks this whole site is dedicated to him. What an ass. Poor pathetic thing. This site is for me to vent. You would not believe what I have to deal with day after endless day. The fuckos, the idiots, the cretins, the bunkypunks. Oh, you don't know what a bunkypunk is? Ever have one of those things lurking around that never pays it's own way? Never shows up on time, never comes through, never means what it says? Have you ever had one of those things that sucks the life out of everything like a black hole? Well, there you are. That's a bunkypunk.

Write if you want, it's not like I give a fuck.
Anais Nynjah

A history of shit
September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006

Responsible Party

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Good evening, darlings. I'm sifting through the mail, deciding who deserves my attention. I'll let you know tomorrow or so. The last few days have been very trying for me. Has anyone seen the Tom Sizemore sex tape? Is this the new Christmas album? Are all celebrities going to be doing sex tapes now? Where's the Janeane Garofalo sex tape? Where's the Iggy Pop Christmas album? I don't know what the world is coming to. I'm just waiting for the Good Charlotte Sex Tape Christmas Album. That would make my day.

Until tomorrow, kittens.

The Shadow * 11:02 PM

____________________

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sorry to have neglected you, kittens. It's a sad fact that I was called away to comfort someone. Yes, I can comfort. It's in my skill set. I won't do it for any of you, though. Because I hate you all, that's why. Now then, back to business. Did you track down that son of a bitch Monkeysopo? Thank you, darlings. What a pig. He's written asking me to call off the dogs. Apparently it would be inconvenient for him to change his email address. Sniff. Gosh, that's just so tragic I could cry. But I'll laugh instead. What an idiot. Why did he slam Rollins from that address then? Because his was not a well-thought plan, that's why.

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Date: Sun, 25 Sep 2005 03:23:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: "monkey man" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
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Subject: Psycho
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


You're just a fucking psycho. You're probably in a wheelchair and you're just made because you're so ugly even you're own dad wouldn't pity fuck you. Too bad so sad for you psycho.At least I'm willing to accept the truth about Rollins that you can't because you're just a blind worshiper and you think every fucking thing he does is so great. You're the retard psycho.

Peace out bitch


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Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

******************************

Oh, he makes me feel all fluttery inside. What a manbeast. Hopefully, he won't be like that tard from Ohio and keep writing me, telling me what a psycho I am and trying to get a response. Conversation closed. Next?

Date: Sat, 24 Sep 2005 09:24:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Coolie" <********@aol.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
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Subject: Do you know something about Henry Rollins
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


Henry came to our remote base in Afghanistan in December of 2004.
Besides being personable, willing to stay as long as he could, et cetera,
we did find out something that I found a little surprising for someone
with such a "tough guy" image. He had VERY little experience with
firearms. Not earth shattering news, to be sure, but a little tidbit I
thought you might enjoy. I have some pretty good pictures if you're
interested.

C

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This guy also sent me some pics of Rollins shooting a machine gun. No, I won't share, you ungrateful bitches. He's mine, all mine. Okay, maybe I'll post if I get permission from C. Normally, I wouldn't ask but he's been so sweet and I just hope he doesn't get his balls shot off while he's over there doing Dubya's good work.

And last, but not least, a friendly message from a girl named Colleen.

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Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2005 22:46:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Coco" <********@gmail.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
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Subject: hello
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


Hi Anais,

I've been watching "Breaking Bonaduce" on MTV. Have you seen it? I was wondering what you thought about it. Every time I watch it, I can't stop thinking about Henry Rollins. Is that weird? I wonder what that's all about?

Also, do you know if it's true that Henry will be making guest appearances on "Rescue Me"? I heard that he and Denis Leary are close friends.

Thanks, and I think you're blog is really funny. Keep up the good work, sexy.
Colleen
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Dear Coco,

What a sexy kitten you are. I forgive you for misspelling "your". Yes, I've seen the car wreck of Danny Bonaduce's reality show. I have a lot of thoughts on that one. First of all, Gretchen Bonaduce. What is it with this woman? She wants to be portrayed as a long-suffering Christian-type woman who loves her man and her ideals so much she puts up with his shit. But I'm not buying it. I think she's a gold-digger who's desperately hanging on. She's been riding his coat tails forever, so why would she want to knock him off his high horse? What is she, anyway? Well she's co-producer of the reality show. What do you think of that? Is it the height of class or the depth of crass to put your family struggle on nationwide TV? No, I don't think Gretchen could ever hold a candle to Sharon.

And what the fuck with her "I'm too evolved for sex" shit? She doesn't physically love her man, but she won't let anyone else either? What the fuck is that shit all about? She's too good for sex? Whatever. It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into when she drunk married him. What must that night have been like? Danny Bonaduce in his normal altered state, and little Gretchen thinking "Wow, my ship's just come in. All I have to do is hop on board and prevent it from crashing". No way could she have known what she was in for, but then again how do you get with someone like Danny Bonaduce and think he'll clean up?

And who the fuck is she to make him change anyway? Who the fuck is she to say hey, this is not what I signed up for? You're supposed to act like a good decent man and clean up your act. Talk about trying to make filet mignon with $2 hamburger. Yes, he's a disaster. Always was, probably always will be. She walked into it, stayed there, had kids with him, and the whole time she's been bitching and complaing and crying and cajoling for him to be something he's clearly not and probably has no capacity to ever be. She's either retarded, or very cunning.

What does Miss Gretchen get for being with Mr. Danny? Semi-fame. I'll bet you a disco dollar that if we looked into her history we'll find a cheerleader or something similar with stars in her eyes. She's always on his radio show. She's on TV right now. Who the fuck would do that?

Yes, I have a problem with reality TV. As a muse I find it very disturbing. It's so uninspired and it's cheap labor to boot. Airing your family dramas on TV is kind of twisted. And to put your children's lives on TV, who really don't have the power to understand or consent, is more than twisted. I can't stand when people use their children for their own devices. Sure, everyone does it, but do they realize what they're doing? I think Miss Gretchen does. I think she's got a plan. I think it's the same plan she's had all along. And she sure picked the right guy, didn't she? No matter what, she comes off as the good girl, smelling like a rose. Danny can take the blame and heat for everything. Which he probably prefers because he's such a masochist.

Okay, now for your twisted thoughts in this situation. Why would you be thinking of Rollins when you watch Bonaduce? Is it because they are two sides to the same freak coin? Maybe. Let's examine this. Danny works out. Rollins works out. Danny takes steroids. Mr. All Beef Rollins would probably slap him for doing it. Danny has a wife and kids and is in therapy because he supposedly doesn't want to fuck it all up . Rollins has foreseen the future and conveniently sidestepped that whole nightmare, but would probably beat Danny down for fucking around on his wife. Danny is a DJ. Rollins is a sometimes DJ and just one of his shows is infinitely more satisfying than anything Danny has ever done. Danny was busted for getting physical in a tranny surprise. Rollins busted the tranny surprise in the early 80's. Danny has an addictive personality. I happen to think Rollins does, too. He's a little more careful about choosing his addictions. Working out, compulsive journaling, touring, masturbating, Peet's special blend, harrassing Heidi May. These are the addictions Rollins chooses.

Life is about choices, kittens. And sure, we'd all pay to see Rollins sing The Unchained Melody while wearing nothing but a pink tutu, but would anyone show up to see Danny do it? Probably, if Gretchen organized the PR.

Now, as for Rollins being a close friend of Denis Leary's, I have no intel on that. I do not know if he is to be guest star on Rescue Me, but I would definitely watch. That show pisses me off, too. I hate the wife. Talk about an unsupportive bitch.

Love your men, kittens. Choose a good one and stand by him. Just like the song says. Give him a blowjob in the morning and a handjob under the table at lunch. Whatever it takes. Just keep him happy and let him know what he can do to make you happy. It's the way of men and women. Look out into the animal kingdom. It's always the female that calls the male. Call a good one and keep him true. Don't trap a lion and try to make it a kitten, darlings. It just doesn't work that way and you'll end up scratched or worse.

Toodles, darlings.

The Shadow * 10:44 AM

____________________

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Happy Saturday Fuckos! I've received oodles of mail and most of it's pure dogshit. Here are two that I thought deserved responses:

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Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 16:04:34 -0700 (PDT)
From: "S**********" <********@gmail.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Katrina
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com

I just wanted to add that if those stupid women in New Orleans would have just breast fed their babies, then they would have had milk to drink. That's God's way. He made our bodies to feed our children. And also they wouldn't be so fat because breast-feeding your baby helps you lose weight and you pass on all your immunity to your baby and it makes them healthy.

Synthia

****************************

Dear Synthia,

Oh my God! Thank you SO much for writing and bringing that up! You are SO brilliant! I NEVER would have thought of that! Those stupid bitches in New Orleans have probably never even heard of breast feeding. They are so ignorant and dumb, they probably don't even know what it is. If only they would have breast-fed their babies, that would have solved everything. I never knew that breast-feeding could be started at will at anytime. Silly me, I thought that breast milk dried up within the first three weeks after delivery if the mother wasn't breast-feeding. You are such a genius. You should go work for the President. No, you should go work for FEMA. You could head up the breast-feeding program, spreading the word that in any disaster or hardship, all a mother need do is breast-feed her baby and everything will be just fine. Let me know if there's anything I can do to hellp you get that job. FEMA needs a woman like you. I would be happy to write any recommendation for you.

Love,
Anais

*******************************

Here's the most disturbing piece of mail I've ever received. Trust me, that's saying a lot.

******************************

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Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2005 09:17:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Monkey Man" Add to Address Book
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Subject: Regarding Henry
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


I'm interested in what you have to say about the fact that Henry Rollins wrote Planet Joe. It's a known fact that Joe Cole never wrote one word of that book and that Henry Rollins has been cashing in on his death ever since it was published.

Monkey
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Dear Monkeydick,

Don't you ever write me again, you worthless piece of monkey shit. The only excrement who would continue to perpetuate that absolute and complete lie is a scumbag like you. Look, it's very sad and tragic that you have a needle dick and no one willingly touches you. Too bad self love and crack whores are your only option. Why take it out on Henry Rollins? How fucking dare you even continue to spread this bullshit rumour? It's so much worse than all that Henry is gay shit. At least that rumour made sense.

How can such a lie be a "known fact"? Because you've decided it's so? You've only decided that because saying it gives you attention. I understand. No one would look at you otherwise. But now, everyone will just look at you and know that you are a liar, a pathetic fuck, and that you are trying to fuck with Rollins to get attention. Who would even notice you, otherwise? No one. You are invisible.

Have you even read Planet Joe? I'll bet not. Let's work this out. So, you're saying it's a "known fact" that Rollins wrote Planet Joe. Why would he do that? Because he's such a marketing genius? So he puts out another road journal? To supplement the one that he's putting out himself? Except this other one is through the eyes of the roadie? So he can say things about Ratman and the band that he can't say as Rollins? So that he can talk about dropping acid?

Have you ever read any Rollins? The whole point of the books, the sustaining beauty of the journals, is the brutal honesty. Think it, write it, print it. The common man will never know how much editing went on, but if Rollins was so pre-fabbing the whole thing, why leave in spelling and grammar mistakes? Oh, did he fake those too? Is that a "known fact"?

As far as cashing in on Joe Cole's death, boy you better run. I hope Rollins never finds out who you are or what shit you've been talking. Actually, I hope he does. I hope he snaps your spine. How fucking dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are? Dennis Cole? Are you his little bitch? Are you working for Dennis Cole, trying to get some publicity for him? Talking shit on Rollins was his last ditch attempt before he ran to Florida to become a property pimp while he can still try cashing in on those supposed good looks.

I'll tell you what, monkeyfuck. Let's make a deal. You come meet me in person. I'll let you know who I am, if you let me know who you are. Otherwise, if you're gonna talk that kind of crazy shit behind a mask, be prepared for what you get back.

Here's why you targeted Rollins. You want to be him. You looked at him and you bought the package. You saw the neck and the eyebrows and you said, yeah. Nobody fucks with him. You feel like a nothing and no one notices you. So you tried to become Rollins. Except you can't be. No one can be Rollins but Hank. So now you resent Rollins. Because he didn't notice you, either. Have you tried writing him? Did you stand in line after a show? Did he ignore you like everyone else does? You were so devastated that he didn't instantly recognize you as his twin that you broke down and cried like the little bitch you are.

That's why you hate Joe Cole. Fuck you, you do hate him. You wouldn't have dared say what you did if you didn't hate him. Joe Cole deserves your hate? Fuck you. You just hate him because Rollins will never reject Joe the way you think he rejected you. That's why you're throwing your little hate tantrum. Go to therapy. Work out your shit. Rollins is impenetrable. You can't hurt him with your stupid shit. You can't even get his attention. I dare you to go talk your shit to his face. Let me know where and when, motherfucker. I'll get rich off selling tickets.

In hate and darkness, motherfucker.

*****************************

Kittens, I ask you to please slam Monkey Dick as much as you can. monkeysopo@yahoo.com Spam him. Slam him. Find out who and where is and drag him from his hovel to be beaten with cats of nine tails, then tarred and feathered and left on the doorstep of Two1361 to be dealt with by the man. Do this for me, darlings. It's the only thing I ask. Well, no it isn't. But it must be done, for the good of all humanity, and for the sake of the beloved soul adventurer Joe Cole, the absolute and true author of Planet Joe.


And for Peet's Coffee sake, will somebody worthy please write me?

The Shadow * 11:30 AM

____________________

Monday, September 12, 2005

Stop crying. I said I'd be back and I am. I just didn't have anything very inspired to write because no one very inspired had written me.

What have you all been up to these last few days? Most likely beating off to Avril videos. You sit there in your room with the lights off and the TRL flickering. You distract yourself from the filth and despair that is your life with your false reality. You pretend you're so cool working your McJob and driving your piece of shit Japanowreck.

Hey, here's a thought: Why don't you get up off your fat/skinny ass and do something with yourself. You could go outside and take some pseudo-fresh air. You could walk around your neighborhood and see if there's any interesting graffiti. You could walk to the bus stop and pretend to be in conversation with the woman who lives there. You could talk to yourself and not make any sense and see how it is to be her for a minute. If you're not up to it, maybe you could just do us all a favor and off yourself. There's a housing shortage in the area, have you heard? I'm sure there's another moron just waiting for the roommate situation you've got going on.

Don't be a pussy or a crybaby. Just do it. Do us all this one favor and delete yourself from the file. No one needs another you hanging around making everything just that much worse.

All right, then. If you're too much of a pussy to pull your own plug, just be grateful you're not one of these pathetic fucks.

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Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2005 11:37:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Cooper" <***********@yahoo.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: 9/11
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com

Well today is the anniversery of September 11th. What do you think of that? What do you have to say about that? Your typical mocking everything shit?

Coop
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Oh, Coop! Such a card. I would normally have just deleted your email, but as I said, pickin's be slim.

What do I think about this being the anniversary (notice the correct spelling, retard) of September 11th? Well, I think life goes on. First of all, I think that if I see one more image of the twin towers collapsing I'll scream. And none of you will like it when I do. I seem to remember a little something happening to the Pentagon on that fateful day, too.

Did you know anyone who died in the towers on September 11? Because I did, asshole. I have three very close friends whose lives completely changed. Just kidding. I'm an animated character, remember? No, but really. There are three stories that I could tell you right now that you won't ever see on a 9/11 documentary. They will tear at your heart, these tragic tales. But they're not mine to tell, and anyway, build a fucking bridge and get over it.

You stupid fat Americans. You think this is the worst thing that ever happened in the universe, right? You think how the fuck could this happen in America, for God's sake. Well, it could happen anywhere and it happened there because someone doesn't like you. Perhaps it's your President. Perhaps it's one of his friends. Who knows for sure? What does it matter at this point? Rebuild your twin towers. Rebuild your life. Keep trucking, brotha.

By the way, Cooper. You write me a lot and I know it's because you want me to post one of your emails and slam you, but could you please come up with something a little better than your trite WalMart brand type of shit? It's almost as tedious as fucking you.

*******************************

Here's another fucko that hardly deserves my attention. I sent ugly and hate-filled bile energy towards her, but the bubble in her brain is very strong.

******************************

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Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2005 18:46:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: "It's Just Me" <***********@hotmail.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Hello
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com

Hi,

I just wanted to write and tell you that I feel really sorry for you. I don't know who you are or why you are doing what you are doing, but it's obvious you are really sick and that you need a lot of psychiatric help. I don't even want to know what your life has been like for you to come to a point in which you decide to start a blog like this. You need a lot of psychiatric help. I am praying for you and I hope you get the help you need, just like I am praying for the victims of hurricane Katrina.

Mandy

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***************************

Oh, yeah. Mandy Moore is praying for me. Do you think it's really her? Do you? Omigod, rilly? Why do I do what I do? Let me think about that one. Is it like Werner describing EST? I do it because I do it, because that's what I do? It's the nature of the beast, bitch. I'm a muse. I have no one to inspire. MTV and Fox11 News have completely shut me out. I tried to hang around the Colleges and Universities, but there was no one there who could hear me. I tried to speak to the children, but their stupid Mommy Clubs and Barney shut me out, too. To whom can I turn? Who can hear me? Alas, the Punks. The Goths. The desperate souls alone in their rooms, beating off to Avril.

Thank you for your prayers, Mandy. I'm sure someone as pure and famous as you has a direct connection to the big guy upstairs. Tin cans and string, right? Prayer is a powerful thing, but I think Faith is a more powerful myth. Oh, you haven't heard of the myth of faith? It's just for the weaklings, darling. Faith is the fantasy that steps in when all hope and trust are gone. Stick to it, girlie. Eventually, with lots of prayer maybe, you might be able to trust yourself into letting go of your belief in the idea of a Judeo-Christian father god.

Smooches

*****************************

All right, kids. I'm awake and actually a little bored. I'm sifting through mail and I'm looking for something good. Give to me. Oh, baby, give it to me hard and fast with sweat dripping from your brow right into my hungry little mouth.

The Shadow * 3:31 PM

____________________

Monday, September 05, 2005

Happy Labor Day Fuckos!

I've received some lovely love notes. I saved the best for you. The first is from a cretin named Dina. She thinks she knows who I am. What a moron. I wonder who she thinks I am? Some girl who irritates her, I'm sure. Maybe she's mad because this girl she mitakenly believes is me is so much skinnier, and prettier, and more popular than she is. Maybe she's the kind of 'tard who thinks that shit's important.

********************************

Date: Mon, 5 Sep 2005 10:12:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: "It's Dina" <*********@aol.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Bitch
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


You are a complete and total bitch. I know who you are. Everyone will know now because I'm telling everyone who you are and what you've been doing. You are such a bitch. You're going to be sorry for all the stuff you've said and nobody will care because you're a bitch and everyone hates you anyway.

Have a nice day, bitch.

Dina

_______________________________________
Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

**********************************

Goodness. It certainly sounds like she's about to start something. How amusing stupid people can be.

Here's the other love note I received:

**********************************

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Date: Mon, 5 Sep 2005 13:29:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Jeffers" <*******@yahoo.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Hi
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


I agree with your views of the poor. Those stupid lazy people should have left when they had their chance. They spend all their money (our money which they get for free from welfare, disability, and unemployment) on liquor, crack, and shit they don't need. They should try getting a job so they can feed their own kids and buy a car and gas and the get the fuck out instead of waiting to be rescued off a roof.

Now soldiers who are supposed to be defending this country from terrorism have to waste their resources herding human cattle. Those fucking people are so stupid they can't even get their shit together to get out of harm's way. No, instead they go looting and shooting at rescuers. They start a crime spree instead of helping their fellow man. It's because they're not men. They're animals. I hope they don't rebuild New Orleans at all. I hope they let it rot and all those lazy fuckers have to get jobs.

Peace out,
Jeffers
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Mercy. Which one of these idiots is more deluded? I just don't know. It's a toss up. I think Jeffers is definitely more dangerous, though. He sure seems to be mad at the poor. Maybe he's so desperate for a fuck he's one of those freaks on Craigslist New Orleans offering free shelter to single females only. He's probably mad because even that can't get him laid.

He's obviously such a better man than the "animals". According to Jeffers, life could never kick his ass. He's a superman. Hey, that's just what this country needs! Let's drop Jeffers into the mucky water to plug up the levee since he's such a giant crapsack.

Oh, Jeffers. You sad, pathetic racist, classist, egotistical zero. Haven't you figured out the obvious? It's as plain as the cum stain on Monica's blue dress.

Georgie Porgy let NOLA flood because he's the Born Again Nero. Dubya is the fiddler on the roof, well kind of. If Katrina had happened in Florida, he'd have had his federal ducks in a row, no problemo. Isn't it the least bit curious that he cut the Army Corps of Engineers from the project? It's because he's been hoping for this. He's been on his knees praying for this. Now, he can clear all of New Orleans and build his new Spring Palace. It's going to be wonderful. Condi will build hers in Alabama and they'll have a big place for the YesMen in Mississippi. And a golden road to connect them all from Crawford, Texas to Jeb's place in Florida. The only thing that was bothering him was all the impoverished black folk, but they've all been cleared out now. Well, almost. Be patient. Soon, they'll all be gone for good.

How will you help, Jeffers? Will you donate your piggy bank? Will you clear out your closet and send your hand-me-downs? Will you write letters and vote? No one cares, Jeffers. You're just one stupid guy and no one cares.

Why don't you protest how the poor mishandled everything and brought destruction upon themselves? Oh, yes Jeffers! Please? You could stage a nationally televised self-immolation. Oh, it would be so engrossing. Please, Jeffers! Show those "lazy" poor people how wrong they are. It would be an act worthy of an extremist like yourself. Oh, but Jeffers? Before you perform your bold act? I just want to tell you, from my heart, to go fuck yourself.

Goodnight fucktards.

The Shadow * 10:46 PM

____________________

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Good afternoon, Fuckos!

How was your wild Saturday night? Did you get so drunk you slurred your words as you talked about the meaning of life and the death of Rehnquist and the plight of the hurricane victims and how it all can be easily summed up in your dissertation on the existentialist stagnation of the Dubya Administration? Yes, I heard all about it. You were boring everyone to tears, but they were too drunk to get up and walk away from you. How lucky are you someone didn't sock you in the face to shut you up?

I got some love notes, Kittens. Who is worthy of my attention?

**********************************
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Date: Sat, 4 Sep 2005 02:19:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: "DaWeed" <*******@aol.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Sexy
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


Hey girl,

How you doin? Whassup? I want to fuck you tigt pussy. I will likc your twat and make you cummmmm. Yeah baby. Holla!!!



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Date: Sun, 4 Sep 2005 00:50:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Troy *******" <********@wyldth1ng.com> Add to Address Book
Subject: My needs
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


My needs may never be met. The thought that you could or would do anything for my needs is ridiculus. I do not understand the point of your "blog" nor do I understand why I am writing you and wasting my time. Your intelligence seems to be above a 90 quotient. This is rare amongst the group of "bloggers" in which occupies this site.

The problem is most of the bashing you do is the effect of what I do.

Enter My Realm
http://wyldth1ng.blogspot.com

**********************************

The first guy is so eloquent. I swoon. He's so macho, such a masculine presence. I need to touch myself as I read his email to me. He makes me feel pretty.

Mr. Wyldthing seems kind of real. How frightening. If I engaged in conversation with him I might actually have to turn on my brain. Icky poop. He might want to discuss something and find out my views and feelings on controversial subject matters. How boring. I'm just a disco dolly. I'm not supposed to have viewpoints or opinions, right.

So much confusion.

Anyway, I've been receiving quite a bit of mail. Thank you all for paying attention to me. It keeps me alive so much better than believing in fairies and clapping. Now I have to go check out Mr. Wylthing's blog. He doesn't understand the point of my blog. Neither do I, being a disco dolly. Maybe he will explain it to me since he's got his brain turned on. I certainly hope that's not the only body part he's got turned on.

Toodles.

The Shadow * 12:20 PM

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Saturday, September 03, 2005

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Date: Sat, 3 Sep 2005 18:12:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Bobncarol" <*******@hotmail.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Jesus loves you
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


You are a sick bitch. What is your freaking problem? You should be dragged through the filth of New Orleans and your head should be held under the toxic water until you choke to death.

How can you watch people suffer and make fun of them? I bet you don't even take care of your kids. You probably don't even believe in God and if you don't then your prayers won't be answered. I bet you probably don't even pray anyway and that's why your such a bitch. You should have to go to New Orleans and help the poor people there who are suffering with their children and have to walk for miles with no shoes and no clothes and their hungry and don't have water. They are very, very ill and in hospitals and they can't get out and nobody is coming to get them. You think that is funny? Well I think that you should get left in a hospital to die where no one cares about you. How would that make you feel?

You're really stupid. You make me sick. I think you are some kind of perverted person and you should ask Jesus Christ into your heart and ask him to forgive you for your sins. You are going to hell for sure if you don't ask Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior and he will come into your heart but you have to mean it. You probably won't but I will pray for you even though your such a stupid bitch.

Carol B***


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*************************************

Look, darlings! It's a message from a soldier of the lord. Notice how she lured me in by heading the message with "Jesus Loves You". As if she could fool me.

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Dear Carol,

Fuck you. Doesn't your stupid bible say "Thou Shalt Not Kill"? And yet, here you are, ready to drown someone, simply because they have differng points of view from yours. Goodness, you wouldn't happen to be recruiting for the Militant Christian Society, would you? No, of course not. You're (notice the correct spelling and usage, dear) a renegade.

First of all, of course I don't take care of my kids. I don't have any. Now who's stupid? I don't believe anyone should have kids unless they provide for them. I have no intention of providing for anyone, therefor no kiddiekins here.

Secondly, I wasn't laughing at the poor displaced and suffering people of New Orleans. I was merely expressing my disdain, disgust actually, at their lack of self-efficacy. Google it, Carol. Of course I don't think it's funny that invalids and newborns were left to fend for themselves amidst a hurricane. Who the fuck's in charge over there and how the fuck did they get elected? Don't you think accountability is in order, Carol? Even just an itty bitty bit? How about some personal, and administrative, and corporal accountability. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't a big, fat Mea Culpa feel really good right now?

I'm happy for all the survivors and it's a shame and a tragedy for all the dead. I'd love to go to New Orleans and help out, but seeing as I'm not actually real it's going to be a little hard. I'd also love to donate clothes and whatnot, but all I've got are my gloves, boots, and french-cut naughties. Hardly appropriate, don't you think?

Now, as for Jesus Christ washing away all my sins, again I'll have to politely tell you to fuck off. Who do you think You are? Who is this Jesus guy anyway? Who is he to forgive me of anything? I forgive myself. What about you? What sins do you have to confess? Someone as repressed as you most likely has been fantasizing about threesomes with the gardener and the pool boy. Anal sex and nipple clamps, indeed. But with a minor? In your marriage bed? While your husband is at Thursday night bible study? Shame, shame dirty girl. And you call me perverted.

Go ahead and pray for me if you like. I don't believe in your god so it hardly matters. Just know that if you do it to me, I'll do it twice as hard to you. Except that I'll be praying for Satan to come and devour you whole. Oh, just kidding. I don't believe in that one, either. I'll just pray that you get everything that's coming to you. In spades, sweetie. In spades.

The Shadow * 11:14 PM

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Friday, September 02, 2005

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Date:
Fri, 2 Sep 2005 08:21:02 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Cyndi" <********@yahoo.com> Add to Address BookYahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
What the hell?
To:
anais_nynjah@yahoo.com


I've been glued to my TV for the last few days. I can't stop thinking about all those poor people in New Orleans. They have no food or water. They've had their homes destroyed and there lives destroyed. They are walking through dirty water with their little babies and I wish I could help them. Why isn't our government helping them? What are you going to do to help them? What charity do you think is the best one to donate to?

Okay thanks for all your help.

Cyndi
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Darlings, I've received so much mail, but this is my absolute favorite. Here is my response to sweet, sweet Cyndi, whom I've never met and hope I never will.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Dearest Cyndi,

You are obviously "glued" to your TV because you are a deathfreak and you enjoy the suffering of others. You are a pig, Cyndi. How the fuck should I know which is the best charity to donate to? They're all pigs, too. Only pittance ever goes to the poster child. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and donate to Apathy Internatonal. Don't ever ask me such a stupid question again, you dolt. Can't you think for yourself?

As for all the poor people of New Orleans, fuck them. They've known for decades they were at risk and not even two years ago there was a five-series article detailing what would happen if the levee broke. They were warned to get out, yet they chose to stay.

It's their city. They chose to live there. They knew they were at risk and they continuously chose not to vote in elections. They continuously chose to ignore the problem. They continuously chose to let the Federal Government make decisions for them. This is what happens when people naively choose to believe the Government will take care of it.

Oh, the poor people lost their homes? Fuck that, too. Have you ever been to New Orleans? I have, and if you go outside the French Quarter it's pretty much an enormous shithole. The entire region was bull-dozer ready before the hurricane and it was blight to begin with. They'll all probably get brand new homes courtesy of FEMA, ie you and me, and Lloyd's of London will go bankrupt again.

They have no food or water? Well, if I knew a category 5 hurricane was headed for my little matchstick house, I think I might pack a bag of emergencies and snacks. Wouldn't you? Sure, hindsight is always 20-20, but it's not like Katrina was the first hurricane New Orleans ever hosted. It's not like it wasn't listed as a disaster risk right along with a major terrorist attack.

The reason those "poor people" are in the shit, literally, is that they haven't made it out. They should have realized their situation and done something to help themselves before it was too late. What's the difference between what's happening there now and some broke dime ho living in a section 8 tear down with her three babies by three daddie's? Not much. She's sitting in her crib waiting for someone to come up with some grand plan of escape for her and really she's been forgotten. If Katrina had waited until after the first of the month maybe those people could have left. Learned helplessness is a bitch.

I don't know who irritates me more, the rich or the poor. The haves irritate me becaues they think the world revolves around them. But, so do the have-nots. The rich have all that selfish attitude, but then again, so do the poor. It's always me, me, me with them. There's really no difference. At least the rich have stuff and know people, but then again sometimes poor people have stuff you need and know people you want to meet, too.

Screw the poor. They always want something from you. Fuck the rich. Let them give to the poor.

As far as our beloved government doing anything about it, there was obviously a slight misunderstanding. The actual message that got to the powers that be was that the region was in disaster's wake and oil production was threatened. Now what could that have sounded like to our beloved leader? Try, "Hello Sir, you're about to get richer."

Now if someone had just been savvy enough to say, "Mr. President, terrorists have developed a weather weapon of mass destruction and have unleashed it upon the Gulf oil center." Well, things might have turned out quite differently, mightn't they? Our fearless leader is war-minded. If someone had told him we were at war on the home front, he'd have surely been prepared.

Well Cyndi dear, that's my answer to you.

Now fuck off, and don't ever write me again.

PS. You spelled "their" as "there". Go back to school or look them up in a dictionary, 'tard.

The Shadow * 8:15 PM

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Thursday, September 01, 2005

I'm back.

Did you all miss me?

So sorry about all the clusterfuck. What can be expected when bunkypunks get involved.

Okay, I'm back in business. I had to take a vacation because I'd just had such a time of it. I was at the wall and could go no further.

Write me and let me know what's going on, and what's upsetting you my poor things.

I know my friend Katrina really gave it to some of you. It sucks. I sympathize.

I'm back and I've relaxed. I'm reclining on my divan waiting to meet your needs.

The Shadow * 6:05 PM

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