Monday, September 12, 2005
Stop crying. I said I'd be back and I am. I just didn't have anything very inspired to write because no one very inspired had written me.
What have you all been up to these last few days? Most likely beating off to Avril videos. You sit there in your room with the lights off and the TRL flickering. You distract yourself from the filth and despair that is your life with your false reality. You pretend you're so cool working your McJob and driving your piece of shit Japanowreck.
Hey, here's a thought: Why don't you get up off your fat/skinny ass and do something with yourself. You could go outside and take some pseudo-fresh air. You could walk around your neighborhood and see if there's any interesting graffiti. You could walk to the bus stop and pretend to be in conversation with the woman who lives there. You could talk to yourself and not make any sense and see how it is to be her for a minute. If you're not up to it, maybe you could just do us all a favor and off yourself. There's a housing shortage in the area, have you heard? I'm sure there's another moron just waiting for the roommate situation you've got going on.
Don't be a pussy or a crybaby. Just do it. Do us all this one favor and delete yourself from the file. No one needs another you hanging around making everything just that much worse.
All right, then. If you're too much of a pussy to pull your own plug, just be grateful you're not one of these pathetic fucks.
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Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2005 11:37:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Cooper" <***********@yahoo.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: 9/11
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com
Well today is the anniversery of September 11th. What do you think of that? What do you have to say about that? Your typical mocking everything shit?
Coop
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Oh, Coop! Such a card. I would normally have just deleted your email, but as I said, pickin's be slim.
What do I think about this being the anniversary (notice the correct spelling, retard) of September 11th? Well, I think life goes on. First of all, I think that if I see one more image of the twin towers collapsing I'll scream. And none of you will like it when I do. I seem to remember a little something happening to the Pentagon on that fateful day, too.
Did you know anyone who died in the towers on September 11? Because I did, asshole. I have three very close friends whose lives completely changed. Just kidding. I'm an animated character, remember? No, but really. There are three stories that I could tell you right now that you won't ever see on a 9/11 documentary. They will tear at your heart, these tragic tales. But they're not mine to tell, and anyway, build a fucking bridge and get over it.
You stupid fat Americans. You think this is the worst thing that ever happened in the universe, right? You think how the fuck could this happen in America, for God's sake. Well, it could happen anywhere and it happened there because someone doesn't like you. Perhaps it's your President. Perhaps it's one of his friends. Who knows for sure? What does it matter at this point? Rebuild your twin towers. Rebuild your life. Keep trucking, brotha.
By the way, Cooper. You write me a lot and I know it's because you want me to post one of your emails and slam you, but could you please come up with something a little better than your trite WalMart brand type of shit? It's almost as tedious as fucking you.
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Here's another fucko that hardly deserves my attention. I sent ugly and hate-filled bile energy towards her, but the bubble in her brain is very strong.
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Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2005 18:46:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: "It's Just Me" <***********@hotmail.com> Add to Address Book
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Subject: Hello
To: anais_nynjah@yahoo.com
Hi,
I just wanted to write and tell you that I feel really sorry for you. I don't know who you are or why you are doing what you are doing, but it's obvious you are really sick and that you need a lot of psychiatric help. I don't even want to know what your life has been like for you to come to a point in which you decide to start a blog like this. You need a lot of psychiatric help. I am praying for you and I hope you get the help you need, just like I am praying for the victims of hurricane Katrina.
Mandy
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Oh, yeah. Mandy Moore is praying for me. Do you think it's really her? Do you? Omigod, rilly? Why do I do what I do? Let me think about that one. Is it like Werner describing EST? I do it because I do it, because that's what I do? It's the nature of the beast, bitch. I'm a muse. I have no one to inspire. MTV and Fox11 News have completely shut me out. I tried to hang around the Colleges and Universities, but there was no one there who could hear me. I tried to speak to the children, but their stupid Mommy Clubs and Barney shut me out, too. To whom can I turn? Who can hear me? Alas, the Punks. The Goths. The desperate souls alone in their rooms, beating off to Avril.
Thank you for your prayers, Mandy. I'm sure someone as pure and famous as you has a direct connection to the big guy upstairs. Tin cans and string, right? Prayer is a powerful thing, but I think Faith is a more powerful myth. Oh, you haven't heard of the myth of faith? It's just for the weaklings, darling. Faith is the fantasy that steps in when all hope and trust are gone. Stick to it, girlie. Eventually, with lots of prayer maybe, you might be able to trust yourself into letting go of your belief in the idea of a Judeo-Christian father god.
Smooches
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All right, kids. I'm awake and actually a little bored. I'm sifting through mail and I'm looking for something good. Give to me. Oh, baby, give it to me hard and fast with sweat dripping from your brow right into my hungry little mouth.
The Shadow * 3:31 PM
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